Accepting What Is, again

I mentioned this blog post from elephant journal the other day, but I have to revisit. Since finding it, I’ve read it over and over. I could have written this (maybe not quite as eloquently); I should have written this. I cannot get over how directly it has spoken to me/for me. OK so I don’t have three kids. But I do have one, and a lot of juggling to do. Point being, I think we could all make a long list of reasons why we don’t have time to practice yoga. But underneath all that, we know how good we feel when we do, and as the author put it, how crappy we feel when we don’t.

The last few weeks I’ve been with my 5 year old 24/7, in a new country, finding our family a new home and new routine. I’ve yearned body, mind and soul to practice yoga, but it’s barely been possible. I’ve eked out a few short practices here and there, but to be totally honest, I couldn’t focus on it. Ironically, in the time I needed it most, I could not do what was necessary to get grounded. That’s ok. It was temporary. I told myself what I always tell my students when they worry about not getting on their mat: yoga will always be there for you when you come back to it.
And the Accepting What Is author practically knocked my socks off with this reminder: …don’t beat yourself up about the days you don’t get there. That’s part of yoga too: accepting what is at that moment. To be fully present in your life, without being preoccupied by what you’re missing, or getting caught up in your constant inner dialogue. Yoga tells us to move from equanimity in all things.

In January, my daughter will be in school all day, five days a week here in London. This involves a lot of letting go for me; back home, I (selfishly?) still had her in half days because the kindergarten year was the last chance I had for that. Lately, I recognized that maybe it wasn’t such a good thing for either of us, and she’s not a baby anymore, even if I still want her to be. This upcoming transition for her marks a big opportunity for me: I will be committing to yoga class 4-5 times a week, an opportunity I haven’t had since before she was born. Knowing what it’s like to long for just ONE nice juicy practice a week, I feel pretty confident that I’ll take full advantage of it, and that the benefits will be enjoyed by myself and my family. I’m looking forward to sharing my London yoga journey in the new year. Meanwhile, I’m accepting what is with a few poses a day.