The Space Between


7-year old said to me this
morning, “Mom, I’m glad you don’t really work”. (How quickly she’s
forgotten retreat season!) While I have made a mental note to revisit that
topic at a later date, for now I’m rolling with it. So what exactly have I been
doing…? Hhhhmmmmm. Certainly not blogging. Not working much. Actually, I’ve
been savoring being a Mom. Cooking up a storm. And enjoying, quite simply, the
space between.
And…finding a new horse. Worrying about friends and everyone on the
East Coast. Counting down the days til the new James Bond movie. Halloween
festivities, violin practice and recital, catching up with everyone I missed
when I was, well, working. In short, no deep thoughts, and nothing really to blog about.
And if you’ve read this far, I’ll reward you with full disclosure. I’ve
been really looking forward to getting back to a strong, consistent yoga
practice during my non-work season. I have this gorgeous new at-home yoga
studio that gathered dust all summer, and I discovered Yogaglo, which appears
to be a perfect match for someone who lives in Montana and has an at-home yoga
studio. But the last few times I’ve stepped onto my yoga mat, my back has
protested. What’s going on? Is it my ego (“oh come on, you can do another side
crow like Kathryn Budig is telling you to do”), or is it my body trying to tell
me to – honor the space between? Why do I need to do level 2/3 yoga right now?
How about some restorative…? (Which, interestingly enough, I just wrote my
latest Athleta Chi tutorial about – coming later this month.)
Yeah, I’ve been here before. I want to rock it like Kathryn Budig, but my body
is telling me it needs a little time, a little space. Although this message is loud and clear, it’s taken a few times to get through. It’s not easy to
back off – we are conditioned to want more more more. I will admit to craving
just one more side crow, and that advanced asana high. But for me, the time for that is not now.
So, in my more-resigned-than-usual and quiet mood, I will chalk it up to yet another lesson learned on the yoga mat – honoring the space
between. I know my mat will take me back when I’m ready again…meanwhile, I
think I’ll go put my legs up the wall. Namaste.