I’ve worked through it in increments. It’s actually been awhile since I’ve been scared by a horse. But today, my equine Dude and I just weren’t getting along. Like everyone else, we both have our issues. One of his is not wanting to be away from the herd, so he gets mad when I make him go out with just me. Sort of like an old boyfriend in high school that couldn’t be away from his guys. And when he gets mad, I get nervous. Then we both are on high alert. So, this is one of the things we must work on, together. It’s good for us and our relationship – every couple needs alone time, right? But today, Dude was not having it. As I cantered him out in the field, he decided to amp it up and try to make a run for it back to his buddies…like I wouldn’t notice. My brain went into panic mode as I worked to get 1,200 lbs. of movement and muscle to slow the hell down. I’ve learned to love speed on horseback, but it took a long time to feel safe with it. This was taking me back to the bad old days. FEAR was flashing red hot.

And then I got mad. A little anger is sometimes good for a relationship, when expressed constructively. I hauled that horse around and got him to listen to me (badass!). It was one of two choices – let him be the boss, or assert myself as boss. Fear subsided as I took charge (wait – would this work with husband, I wonder?).

And then I relaxed. He relaxed. The adrenaline rush was over, and we both breathed deeply and let it all go. I even apologized (though I probably shouldn’t have). It was some sort of horse-human couples’ therapy. Horses have taught me a lot about communication and expressing my emotions (including the not-so-attractive ones), and learning how to work through them constructively. And after all, isn’t making up after a fight the best part?